1. A cat can get famous for literally doing nothing.
Humans have to at least give up their dignity to be on a reality show.
2. Their ability to not give a fuck is enviable.
3. They get to judge everyone freely.
“Oh, Diane. You’re wearing that today?”
5. People actually enjoy rubbing their backs for hours on end.
8. People are at their beck and call in case of vomiting or pooping sprees.
Sure, just go ahead and do it on the carpet, when you’re five feet away from your litter box.
10. They don’t have to have friends to be happy.
Only one cat can run this house.
11. They are born with an insane amount of confidence.
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.
12. Their hide and seek game is unreal.
You will never find them.
13. They will always land on their feet.
If we could do that, there would be far less skateboard/anything with wheels accidents.
15. They can fall asleep ANYWHERE…ANYTIME.
16. They have a perpetual feeder that gives them free food.
17. They NEVER have to wear pants.
18. In exchange for food and shelter, they only need to provide occasional hugs and fuzziness.
Which leaves you as the chief source of income.
19. They never have to pick up anything they knock over.
Oh, sorry. Did you need me to pick that up? Sorry no opposable thumbs.
20. Their tongues are hairbrushes. HAIRBRUSHES.
21. Only sleeping 20 hours a day instead of 24 is considered an accomplishment.
In closing: Everybody should want to be a cat.